I want to Learn English!

I feel sad and guilty because I have never taken the pain to learn English in school or in college. I am not a Native speaker, and English has always been my second language. Besides English, I know 5 other languages Tamil, Kannada, Hindi, Telugu and Malayalam. I am proficient in Tamil and Kannada, Moderate in Telugu and Hindi, and I speak very little Malayalam. I can write and read Kannada and Hindi. I believe that my linguistic skills are not great and I need to upgrade it. To start with, I would like to learn English. English is not my forte and I am not confident with it. For the namesake, I was schooled in English medium, hardly I saw anyone communicate in English.  Till 12^th grade or pre-universities as it is called in my state, I conversed in local language Kannada, the official language of Karnataka state in south India.

I studied in one of the prestigious colleges in Bangalore; run by catholic missionary. The campus was the first exposure to brush up my knowledge about the language. The pupil who studied with me came from different parts of India and some from abroad. The only language that they communicated with me is English. I tried my best; all I remember is how people corrected my English often.  I did feel out of place, but I was in spirits to learn. I was a carefree student, I asked way too many questions and it never materialized in my scorecard. Even to this day, my Chemistry professor remembers me as someone who asked a lot of questions, and never met the expectations. Okay, I forgot to mention that my sister was an alumnus, and was notoriously famous for her intelligence. She was the youngest chemistry student who passed UGC exam with 4^th rank in all India level and the only female to pass. She stills holds that record even after 20 years!! So, the expectations were very high. So, it was big disappointment for everyone.

I studied English for the first two years along with my major that is Chemistry, Physics and Math.  And in English I always got the grace marks i.e., 35 out of 100! My scores did affect the aggregate percentage.  In college, my English improved at super snail speed! By final year, I started using Dictionary.

There were many campus interviews; I never shy away from these interviews. I attended all with the same spirit, however I was never selected. I did feel Jealous when others got job, and I did not.  I started looking for a job outside. I managed to get a job at AOL, however I was fired a month later.  A tiff with the trainer and lack of my comprehension skills (READ ENGLISH) during live calls did the damage for me! After I was fired from AOL, I was all hurt. I still vividly remember how I locked myself up in the room and cried my heart out. It was a humiliating moment for me. I was so mad at my trainer; all I did for a day or two was cry.  Then I made a decision that I will try again and ensure I have many offer letters in hand. I was aggressive in my job search, and on one day I had 4 or 5 offer letters in my hand. I randomly picket HTML, I just worked for a day and I simply hated the environment. The place gave me a melancholy effect and next thing I knew was I was out!  Offer letter from Dell was very attractive. I loved the place and the environment  was wonderful.  I actually learnt my English there. So, whatever little English I speak is all from my work experiences!!

Although, I live in Canada, I hardly have any friends here. I still believe that I have a lot to learn. I believe I am very poor in writing and in order to improve I have started taking part in online discussions. Huffington Post is a great plat form to begin with.  I identify myself as someone who is a social liberal and financially conservative. I voice my opinion in my own style. I am struggling with grammatical errors, punctuations and spelling mistakes. I do not know a lot of words; I always look up in the dictionary. I feel very helpless, and insecure when people write crystal clear sentences. And the choice of words they use to refute is simply remarkable. They have such good command over the language I often go green. I do not know weather it is their ability to pen down their thoughts eloquently or is the proficiency of the language that makes them looks so good? I do not know. All I know is I repeat a lot of words, my sentences are clichéd and hard to understand.   I do not even know a lot of idioms; I feel so inferior right now! If I am allowed to sum-up how I feel, here it is ‘empty vessels make more noise’. I consider myself as an empty vessel! 

I am obsessed with Flesch English Test. My average Flesh Reading Ease is 70.8 and a Flesch-Kincaid grade level is 6.6. That means my writing can be understood by graduates and above. Which is another depressing find! I want every one to understand my English! Wish I could make this blog interactive so that I talk to people and they can help me with the language.  

       

Don't Worry be Happy!

Today, I’m extremely happy. The reason for my happiness is I’m cured off of my illness. For personal reasons, I will not discuss as what the illness was, but I can tell you that I was suffering from ‘it’ for the last 1 year. Every day was sheer painful and embarrassing. In that period, I consulted doctors and have underwent many scanning, none of it could determine as what my problem was.  All my reports said I was just fine and nothing to worry about. I was the sole victim and witness to this malady. With no insurance I spent $$$ form my pocket for both doctor and scanning centers. Doctor could not diagnose as what my problem was, and none took me seriously, as I looked healthy to them. Only I knew how much distress I was in.

With no medications I am cured now, and I owe it to my new attitude towards life. I am grateful to my creator who was kind to me all this while.  With his blessings, I made it.

If you’re like me who is suffering from a prolonged illness, there is a fat chance that you can be cured of your illness without taking any medications. A lot of illnesses are related to our life styles and our attitude towards it. Remember, the words of Charles R Swimdoll, "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

With new attitude in life, I also incorporated the below for an affective result. And in less than a month I am cured. I stand as a testimony as what attitude can do to you!

1.   Eliminate stress. Stress aggravates your illness it causes hormonal imbalances. Which can throw you out of gear with respect to health.

2.   Improve your relationships. Relationships have direct effect on ones body and mind. A good relationship is directly proportional to ones happiness.  A bad relationship increases maladies! People who are happy are ones who maintain a healthy atmosphere. Improving a relationship does not necessarily mean pleasing others. It means you say “YES’’ when you have to, and say “NO” when needed. 

3.    Don’t carry unnecessary baggage like hate, heartache, etc. Every time you associate with a negative event, your immune system takes a toll, thus inviting all the ailments. Forgive the people and forget the event. There is no need of harboring hate.  The more you hate, the more ill you become.

4.   Believe in your creator. It does not matter which religion you belong to, what matters is your Belief in your creator. Do not preach your ideas of ‘god’ to others, let each one connect to their creator in their own way. Spirituality conditions ones spirit and boost hopes.

5.   Take up a hobby. An activity/s that challenges your mind is always welcome. Pick constructive activities where a lot of creativity is involved. Creativity of any sort sooths ones mind and to an extent eliminates tension. 

6.   Be positive. Being optimist is not an inborn quality it comes from practice. A lot of practice goes in to it. No matter what happens remain positive. Learn and accept the universal truth, which is “This moment shall pass too”.

7.   Don’t spend too much, be considerate of your money. Knowing you’re financially secured is a good feeling.

8.   Always perform your basic responsibilities, do not delegate. Try to avoid giving reasons for not doing things. Eliminate ‘‘excuses’’ from your life once for all.

9.   Make a decision to be happy and stick to it through thick and thins. 


10. Be honest and do not corrupt your mind and soul with perishable items. 

Well, I followed everything that I have mentioned here. In fact I am also particular as what goes in to my mouth. It worked magically for me.  I hope this works for you as well! Take care and remember to smile and to be happy. You’re as good as the next person. So don’t worry be happy! 

May god bless you with good health!